creating space bunny, i return to roots

from my studio diary

Oct 25 2025 | dining room table at my parents house near Seattle WA

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I’ve taken over the dining room table. My KRK studio monitors are out of storage and plugged in!! This means I can actually finally FEEL my music in my body. After months and years of traveling with tiny portable speakers or just hearing my songs in headphones or through the MacBookPro built-in speakers…I’m hearing (almost) the full range of my songs. Now I just need to invest in a proper sub speaker to put down by my toes! Feel the bass in my ankles! Lol

My musician parts are so excited to be playing with open space and full sound. I can trust what I’m hearing which helps my body relax. I can feel the sound vibrating in my bones which makes me feel way more connected to the creation. It’s not just cerebral…thinking the music sounds good but feeling that it does. Feeling how it moves me. My whole body comes more to life.

This is still a simple set up but just the monitors alone bring so much more energy into my creative process. I feel like I’ve leveled up again. Simply by having the proper tools. It’s obvious but I don’t take it for granted anymore.

For the past few years I’ve been living out of suitcases and producing music in hotel rooms and AirBnbs in South East Asia. And from guest bedrooms around America. I’ve spent long stretches of solo time at my parents’ homes and always been making do with my art supplies and equipment.

My parts reminisce about my big art studio in Seattle (which you heard me mention often no doubt). It was a space where I had enough space to fully expand to my limit. Then beyond. Beyond for me was learning how to travel as an artist. How to keep creating even without a studio space. How to make music out of a backpack essentially.

I danced with this limit for long enough. My parts who loved the novelty got their fill. My parts who love stability and the ability to set up shop and stick around for a while were getting hungry. I could feel them wrestling inside me and changing guard.

So now I’m in a season of grounding. Growing deeper roots. I’ve emerged from my healing cocoon in Hawaii. I’ve returned to my childhood home in Seattle with the intention to continue resting in spaciousness…but with the option to reconnect with old relationships that nourish my soul. I’m receiving safety from the familiar for a moment. Let the familiar ground hold me so I can rest my running feet.

The unknown was freaking me out.

It feels sweet like chocolate to be resting here on a rainy day, wearing warm fuzzy pajamas, sipping Tulsi tea, and playing with sounds.

I’m dipping my toes back into the video game world, cautiously exploring if I can be of service. For those of you who aren’t aware, my husband is a video game designer and he has his own game studio. I’ve been contributing to the audio department by crafting soundscapes and sound effects. I get most excited about full songs that work for a trailer. Songs that can feed into my own albums.

This has been a shared dreamy journey for us both. Me pursuing music. Him pursuing games. He held a strong vision that we could play and co-create together. My music in his games.

My parts fought again this for so long.

I didn’t want to be roped into his project when I still felt so much fire for my own. I was up to my ears in unfinished songs about my feelings. I didn’t want to burn out from over-extending. I didn’t want to work with video gamers and computer engineers. I wanted to be wandering through the mystical jungles of Bali with a hand pan and a stick of white sage.

Something has changed.

I feel more open. Perhaps four months of resting on Hawaii’s magical soil, and over 18 months of tropical weather has melted by cold protective coat. I feel more gentle and open to exploring how I can help others with my gifts.

Maybe it’s because I am so close to finishing my own album. Another album of songs from my heart. I might have gotten a lot of emotions out of my system…emotions that were clogging the pipes. With my own songs making their way out into the world, I have more space to step in a slightly different direction and help someone else.

I have lived a very Selfish life and I like it. I focus on my own projects and get very self- absorbed. I know that my work helps people but I have often felt that I’m only helping in ways that light me up naturally. So I’m extremely cautious to help anyone in anyway if it feels like an obligation or sacrifice.

So that’s what my parts are on the look out for right now. Can I tiptoe into helping the video gamer again without it costing me something I don’t want to actually pay?

There is SO MUCH emotional labor that goes into creating art. Not just the art itself but also navigating all these waters of collaboration, contribution, Self-respect, pushing limits, creating from a secure base, providing oneself with the necessary tools and problem solving to make due when we get squeezed into tight corners.

So today, I’m indulging in the simple pleasure of taking up space on the dining room table, blasting my new songs through the KRK speakers, dancing to my little sonic creations, and illustrating a “space bunny” scene in the music video.

What started as an ethereal background soundscape. This glowing bunny like creature is sitting on a hill beneath trees, stargazing. I heard twinkling, angel pads, strings, and then a deep ominous BOOM.

Once I painted that sound over the video, I started building out a drop. It evolved rapidly into a dance song with lyrics. I sang into my Aston Spirit mic (the one I’ve traveled with for years). I just used the lyrics from “ijusthavesounds” — the new song I shared with you last week.

So now we’ve got a remix or new version of it. I freaking love singing these uber simple lyrics because they feel true and they instantly help my voice play and experience.

WHEN I DONT HAVE WORDS

I JUST HAVE SOUNDS

Certain lyrics bring out better singing. Just like certain songs are easier to dance to. So I’m over here having fun on a rainy day. I hope this brings you inspiration and warmth.

» Check out the video game:

Alice in Space by Rogue Rooster Corporation on Instagram

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·✦.✧̣̇ ✦.✶

xoxo
CHA🍍WILDE

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• music videos + vlogs on YouTube